How
can I put into words what it is to see even this much of the One by
whom, and for whom, are all things?
How
to describe the vast Presence of He who is before all things and in
whom all things consist?
Before
there was time or space or causality there was Him.
Before
sight or sound, before thought, or whisper of words, there was Him.
And
it was He who stood before me with a shining countenance of purest
holiness.
He
who is the Source of all beauty and nobility and strength and royalty
and wisdom was utterly and completely there.
I
was face to face with the Lion of the Tribe of Judah, the Lamb Slain
Before the Foundation of the World, The Beginning and The End, The
Word of God.
And
all this flashed through my mind in the twinkling of an eye and I was
immediately overwhelmed by His glory. It pressed upon me like the
weight of the Universe.
Like
all mankind in the chronicles of human history, when confronted with
the Lord, I fell on my face as if dead, such was the terrible beauty
of the Eternal King of Kings.
To
lift my head for even a split second was an impossibly irreverent
thought.
The
impulse to do so died before forming, and I trembled in every
aspect of myself, feeling that I would vibrate apart by the sheer
majesty of His ineffable Being.
"Stand,
my Son." He commanded gently.
I
obeyed, but kept my eyes lowered. Suddenly, all of the incredible
vividness of the Heavenly out lands, all the indescribable beauty of
this Place, paled in comparison to Him.
"You
are indeed upon Holy Ground, Dead Man, but fear not. I have made you
clean. I have washed you in My blood, and what I have cleansed, you
must not call common!"
"Lift
your eyes, and see Me! It is what you have asked. It is your heart's
desire. I have heard your prayer."
His
Voice thundered as at the Dawn of Creation, like the sound of many
waters, like an ancient trumpet that blasted throughout all
existence.
It
was all I could do to comply.
His
head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and His eyes
like a flame of fire; His feet were like fine brass, as if refined in
a furnace, and I fell on my face yet again, once more a Dead Man.
Then
I felt a hand placed gently on my trembling shoulder.
"Fear
not," the Voice repeated, but this time it was the deep-timbered
voice of a Man who spoke quietly, as if to a frightened child.
His
Presence was as overwhelmingly powerful as before, but now there was
something else, something that tempered the consuming Fire of His
Deity, and I knew then without looking that He had veiled Himself in
His humanity to protect such a one as me from the fierceness of His
Being; an Essence that is an extravagance of sheer force that not all
the stars in the Universe could contain or reflect.
He
helped me stand, and lifted my chin to gaze into my eyes.
Oh!
The inconceivable LOVE I saw there!
I
could only bear that gaze for a moment before I was overwhelmed in
great sobs of…
Joy!
Yes!
It was joy that was washing away all sense of myself, that
obliterated all awareness of everything but those eyes.
They
shone with a depth of mercy and intelligence for which words had not
yet been devised.
And
their entire focus was locked so steadfastly on me in such welcome
and reciprocal joy that had all eternity ended at that very instant
it would have been more than enough!
This
was the single moment that fulfilled all the desperate, inexpressible
longing of my frail human heart. Being in His presence was the reason
for my existence; the reason for all existence.
"I
have been waiting a long time for this visit," He said with a
smile.
© Bill Lilley 2011, 2013
