“Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ “But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery. (Matthew 5:31-32, NKJV).
What God Hates
Believers are to understand what God hates for two reasons: it informs us about His character, and provides us with signposts as to what to avoid. Here they are:
“You shall not worship the LORD your God in that way; for every abomination to the LORD which He hates they have done to their gods; for they burn even their sons and daughters in the fire to their gods. (De 12:31)
“You shall not set up a sacred pillar, which the LORD your God hates. (De 16:22)
The LORD tests the righteous, But the wicked and the one who loves violence His soul hates. (Psalms 11:5)
These six things the LORD hates, Yes, seven are an abomination to Him: A proud look, A lying tongue, Hands that shed innocent blood, A heart that devises wicked plans, Feet that are swift in running to evil, A false witness who speaks lies, And one who sows discord among brethren. (Proverbs 6:16-19, NKJV).
“For I, the LORD, love justice; I hate robbery for burnt offering; I will direct their work in truth, And will make with them an everlasting covenant. (Isa 61:8)
Let none of you think evil in your heart against your neighbor; And do not love a false oath. For all these are things that I hate,’ Says the LORD.” (Zec 8:17)
“For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the LORD of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.” (Mal 2:16 )
Of these things, idolatry and idolatrous practices, murder, violence, pride, deceit, thievery, perjury, and contentiousness, the one in view here is the last, divorce. In ancient Israel, rather than simply put aside a wife, or worse, Jewish law commanded that divorce be legally formalized with cause, with specific prohibitions and penalties prescribed if the husband's accusations were found to be false. Contemporaneous pagan cultures during Moses' time, and afterwards, were far less scrupulous about such things, and often dealt with problematic marriages by more severe actions taken by the husband, including abandonment and murder. Over the centuries, through various rabbinic interpretations, these Jewish restrictions became more liberal, until by the time of the first century there were two basic schools of thought.
On the one hand, there were the relatively strict constructionists, under the leadership of Rabbi Shammai, who taught that just cause for divorce was limited to moral delinquency on the part of the wife (theft, dishonesty, laziness, gluttony, etc.). On the other hand, there was the "progressive" position, under the teaching of Hillel, which basically expanded cause to include anything displeasing to the husband. Both schools, however, agreed that once divorced, it was forbidden to remarry the same person.
In the New Testament however, Jesus made it clear that God's perfect intention and purpose for marriage "from the beginning" was a life-long joining of one man and one woman. Divorce was only instituted as a remedy because of the "hardness" of man's heart. In contrast to either Shammai or Hillel, Jesus also made it clear that there was only one just cause for divorce: sexual immorality. Here are the general Scriptural references concerning divorce: Ex 21:7-11; De 21:10-14; 24:1-4; Ezr 10:1-16; Ne 13:23-30; Jer 3:1; Mic 2:9; Mal 2:14-16; Mt 5:31,32; 19:3-12; Mr 10:2; Lu 16:18; 1Co 7:10-17.
Divorce is a hard subject today, partly because it is so very prevalent (50% of 1st marriages end in divorce, even in the church), and partly because tragic issues like spousal abuse and the well-being of children come into play. Some think that in the New Testament, Paul broadens Jesus' provisions on divorce, but that is technically inaccurate, since Paul in 1 Corininthians 7 is speaking specifically of abandonment and separation, not legal divorce. The bottom line for a Bible-believing Christian is that divorce is evil and marriage is sacrosanct - too important to be messed with - something the apostles clearly understood when they responded to Jesus' teaching by saying, “…If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” (Matthew 19:10, NKJV).
Divorce being evil and marriage being sacrosanct are perfectly consistent teachings, and for generations most of the Christian church looked at divorce largely from a New Testament perspective: It was wrong and to be avoided at almost any cost. Even Jesus did not make divorce a requirement in cases of sexual immorality, only permissible. And this prohibition against divorce makes marriage that much more important, and the choice of a spouse exponentially more significant. The old adage, marry in haste - repent at leisure is an adage precisely because it encapsulates a solemn truth.
So, beloved, what do you do?
If you are not yet married, WAIT upon the Lord to get married. THIS IS VITALLY IMPORTANT!!!!! If it is in His perfect will for your life he will rearrange the world and the course of history to bring you that spouse. You are His beloved. Do not be unequally yoked. Make sure that man's or that woman's first priority is Christ. Do NOT count on matrimonial evangelism. It almost never works the way you hope. Flee the impulses of lust. They are deadly in the long term. Wait, I say, on the Lord.
If you are married and in physical danger, separation is a viable (and perhaps an urgent) option. Spousal abuse is a form of abandonment. It is certainly the opposite of being cherished and protected. Chances are the abusing spouse in not a Christian. If the ultimate result is divorce on the part of the unbelieving spouse, then you are free. If he (it is usually the male that is abusive) is a believer it is very likely the Lord will use that separation to work in his life. A loving church should protect and provide for you in those circumstances. Should you initiate divorce? Only if sexual immorality is also involved. Is this hard to accept? Yes. Is it an opportunity to trust in the Lord to work His perfect will in your life? Yes. Will the world agree with your decision not to end the marriage? Very likely not. Most in the church, if they are not properly grounded in the Word, won't either.
If you are divorced because of the unilateral decision of your spouse, that is abandonment. You are free. "But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace." (1 Corinthians 7:15, NKJV).
If you are divorced after salvation because of your own decision for other than sexual immorality on the part of your spouse, you are a sinner in need of forgiveness. Welcome to the club. Can you remarry in the Lord? That is a big question, indeed. "Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. "(1 Corinthians 7:10, 11, NKJV). If you do or did remarry in that case, you have committed adultery, compounding your sin. Does that disqualify you as a child of God through faith? No more than any other sin. Does it disqualify you from certain service in the church? Very possibly.
What should you do under those circumstances? Certainly, you need to confess and repent, and He is faithful and just to forgive your sin. But then what? Divorce yet again to make it right? What if there are children from either marriages? Sin is ugly and complicated and there are very few formulaic answers. Note however, the last part of 1 Corinthians 7:15, "…But God has called us to peace." Certain things that are done, can't be undone. Any attempt to rectify these things in human strength is likely to make them worse, "…but God has called us to peace." I believe the Lord will give you the proper guidance if you prayerfully seek Him, and do now what you should have done before: WAIT ON HIM.
If you were divorced before salvation, then I believe the pertinent guidance is here: Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. (2 Corinthians 5:17, NKJV).
Here is the key: if you are now married in the Lord, or if you are contemplating marriage in the Lord, the command is to STAY married. There is no requirement to divorce, and the only permissible cause for divorce is sexual immorality on the part of your spouse. But be very afraid if you are resting on the actual doing of adultery to protect you. In this same sermon, Jesus has already equated looking with lust as morally equivalent to committing adultery.
One final thought, and here's where we all should tremble: Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. (Galatians 6:7, NKJV).
Marriage is very important to God. He looks at its dissolution as bloodshed. It is His picture of Christ's relationship with His church. Among other things, He has ordained it for the purpose of raising godly children. His view of marriage is not just old-fashioned in the eyes of the world today, it is much more than that. It is ancient, original, authentic and authoritative. It is His institution. Mankind dare not mess with it, or there will be Hell to pay.
Literally. Not just for individuals, but for society.
